Category: Mommying

Why I Am Still Pumping After Leah’s First Birthday

Pumping After First Birthday
Pumping isn’t fun. But if you’re a working mom who wants to feed her baby breast milk, you just gotta suck it up and do it. (Pun intended a little) And if you’re an exclusively pumping mama, let me just say right now that I think you are a ROCK.STAR!!!! That level of commitment amazes me!!

For lots of pumping mamas, Baby’s first birthday is our ultimate goal. At that point, whole milk can enter the picture, solid food provides a lot of the nutritional needs and we still have mornings, nights and weekends to provide breast milk straight from the tap.

A couple days ago, I was chatting with a coworker via IM and she was teasing me because it had taken me awhile to respond to her initial message. I had been in the Mother’s Room pumping and had told her so. Her response was “You’re still doing that?” and it got me to thinking the generally accepted idea that even if you keep nursing past one year, pumping always ends at the first birthday.

With Brooke, who was always fed a mix of formula and breast milk, I opted to stop pumping shortly after her first birthday. I replaced formula with whole milk and the amount of breast milk I was able to offer just didn’t make a big enough dent to be worth it.

However, when Leah turned 1 in June, I didn’t feel a need to stop pumping. And today, at 15 months and counting, I’m still pumping and don’t really have an ending time in mind. Here’s why:

uneven pumping output
Any guesses which side she’d nursed from that morning? LOL

If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It

This has always somewhat of a mantra for me when it comes to parenting and approaching milestones. Whether it is breastfeeding, potty training, moving out of rear-facing or harnessed car seats, I don’t feel a need to rush it. What we’ve got going right now is working so I don’t see the benefit of changing things.

I’m sure Keith would love to stop washing bottles at night and it would probably be slightly easier for daycare but other than that, there’s no real hardship associated with continued pumping that prompts me to stop.

If I Was Home, She Would Be Getting That Breast Milk

If I wasn’t working, I imagine we’d have one or two nursing sessions during the day in addition to the morning and nighttime ones we currently share. My view is that pumping and sending expressed milk to daycare was a substitute for nursing while we were apart during her first year and nothing fundamentally changed about that after her first birthday. Breast milk is still extremely beneficial for toddlers and I am happy to do what I can to get that nutrition to her every day.

I Kinda Like My Pumping Sessions

I recognize that I’m very blessed to have the pumping situation that I do. My company has designated “Mother’s Rooms” in every location I’ve ever been in. It is equipped with counter, sink, mini-fridge and chair. One of the Houston offices I worked in was super tricked out with a radio, table full of magazines and even a foot warmer/massager. My managers have never batted an eye at my need to be away from my desk to pump.

So that time for me is an opportunity to step away from my computer and enjoy some Mama-Time. I read or watch Hulu on the Kindle, catch up on social media, jot down lists or even just close my eyes and mediate to the lovely hum of the pump.

pumping output
I’m at almost 11 gallons. Wonder what it will be when I’m all done!

I worked very hard to get to this point and still be nursing and pumping at 15 months. When my output rapidly decreased at around the 6 or 7 month mark, I tried everything – adding pumping sessions (up to 5x/day), fenugreek, blessed thistle, oatmeal, more water and when none of those worked, I eventually started taking domperidone which helped immensely. In fact, I am still taking the domperidone to maintain the supply I have now.

So I realize that it’s not always easy to “just keep going” and hope that any mamas who have the desire to keep going are able for as long as they wish.

Did you pump breast milk for your child(ren)? When did you stop? What was your experience like?


We Had a Good Morning

I wish that wasn’t noteworthy but lately in our house, good stress-free, no-tension mornings just don’t happen very often.
 
I just had a pang of guilt and teensy twinge of shame seeing that in writing but I’m willing to bet that is true of many households where you’re trying to get two parents to work, a kiddo or two or three to school and a baby or two or three to daycare. 
 
On top of that, things have been kinda rough around our house where Brooke is concerned.  There’s been a lot of back-talk, attitude, defiance…all kinds of fun stuff.  So even a simple request to get dressed or asking what she would like for breakfast could turn into a yelling match. 

(Again, that pang and twinge just got me but I have a feeling more than one someone reading this can relate.)
 
In an attempt to get some peace in our house, I consulted a book that recommended first and foremost, at least 10 minutes of regular daily alone time with your kiddo.  I had really struggled with how to make that work when our after work/school routine left very little free time, let alone time I could devote to just Brooke with Leah being in a very hands-on stage.  Then I had threw around the idea to find time into our morning.  Again, finding a pocket of time in the morning seemed impossible but I didn’t know how else I was going to swing it. 
 
So the past couple mornings, I’ve gotten up a few minutes earlier to have breakfast with Brooke before school.  I usually eat breakfast at my desk when I get into the office and would be packing Leah’s daycare bag or my pump bag or something while Brooke had hers before school.  She always looked lonely at that big dining room table alone but I had stuff to do, ya know?
 
Pancake Breakfast with my big girl this morning!
 
Yesterday morning was our first before school/work breakfast together.  It wasn’t the smoothest morning.  She really fought me on getting ready at all and I quickly grew frustrated.  Once she’d woken up though, things got rolling.  Today, it took much less convincing to get moving and even though Leah decided to get up early and interrupt our meal, it was a great morning.  There was even time to work on a photo a day challenge together!
 
And now, because I wrote this, I’m prepared for tomorrow to be hard again.  Cross your fingers that it’s another good one for me!!
 
I’m linking this up today with Things I Can’t Say’s Pour Your Heart Out linkup.

Our Angel Baby

Last fall, on September 8th, I saw two lines on a home pregnancy test. Faint but they were there.

On September 17th, we gave up hope that the pregnancy would last.

In my gut, I knew there was a reason the lines on the many pregnancy tests I took were not getting any darker. It didn’t stop me from looking for reassurance on the Internet that it was possible that it meant nothing, a full term pregnancy could still happen. But deep down, I knew.

Blood was drawn and each time, I had to tell the nurse why.

“I think I’m losing my baby”

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day

Today is recognized as Infant & Pregnancy Loss Rememberance Day. Unfortunately, this affects more families than I think most people are aware.

In the grand scheme, I believe I was fortunate that my experience wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It happened very early on. I sensed something wasn’t right from the beginning. I didn’t suffer physically. We got pregnant again only a few weeks later. So many have it much worse.

My heart aches for those whose circumstances are more trying. Even when you know you didn’t do anything wrong or that there was a reason your baby didn’t survive, there is a hole in your heart that won’t ever be filled.

The hardest part for me is the wondering. Was that baby a boy or a girl? Would there be as much resemblance to Brooke? What milestone would be reached today or tomorrow?

There are times I feel like its wrong to have those thoughts. After all, if that baby had survived, Leah wouldn’t be in our lives and its hard to imagine life without her.

But its only natural to wonder about what could have been and it doesn’t mean I don’t treasure Leah with every ounce of my being.

Tonight, folks around the world will light a candle at 7pm their local time, participating in the International Wave of Light to honor and remember those babies lost in pregnancy or early in their short lives. I will be doing so and invite you to as well.

Have you or someone close to you experience the loss of a pregnancy or infant? Feel free to share your story in the comments.